tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post2894556791675667962..comments2023-06-27T08:26:35.859-04:00Comments on Double Coupon Day: My New HeroAndy Hopkinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14149673993917911144noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post-67696675517896862902009-09-12T13:22:25.644-04:002009-09-12T13:22:25.644-04:00About three years ago, I copped from Dr. Wax a cou...About three years ago, I copped from Dr. Wax a couple wax-packs of Cyndi Lauper trading cards from probably the mid-eighties. The gum was still intact, though it had mostly fused with its foil wrapper. But I am not about the half-stepping, so I went ahead and ate a piece. As I gnashed Richard Kiel-style on the erstwhile chicle, it didn't soften so much as it shattered endlessly into ever smaller splinters of fading pink that then lodged painfully like dumb-cane into the soft tissue under my tongue. The process of the inseperable foil raking my teeth as I chewed was not only excruciating but also resulted in 1) a thin trickle of poisonous-tasting aluminum saliva that ended up permanently staining my shirt and 2) a faint metallic "skree" that sounded like distant robot death. <br /><br />I tossed the second piece.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post-82809778387400532152009-08-25T17:13:32.562-04:002009-08-25T17:13:32.562-04:00My sister dated this guy who was kind of weird for...My sister dated this guy who was kind of weird for a while, like a long while. They were living together and stuff for a few years. Mostly he was useful to me as a person who was willing to buy alcohol when we were still underage, so I suffered his weirdness gladly. <br /><br />Until this one time, when we went by his house and asked him to get some tequila for our margarita party (to which he was not invited). While he was out at the store, we sat around the living room with my sister, talking and laughing. There was a tin of altoids on the lampstand.<br /><br />We helped ourselves to the altoids, asking my sister first. While the altoids were still mostly whole on our tongues or in our cheeks, the guy came back with the tequila. Just then, my friend Dan started kind of puckering. "Is there something wrong with these altoids?" The weird dude started laughing his weirdly loud laugh. Then he said, "No, why?"<br /><br />"Now that you mention it," I added, "these altoids are kinda strangely chalky. Like more gritty than altoids usually are." Weird dude laughed again, louder.<br /><br />"Take a look at the folded parchment paper on the inside of the tin, tell me what the most recent date is." <br /><br />1972.<br /><br />Weird dude reached into his pocket, pulled out another tin of altoids, "Now take a look at the folded parchment on the inside of this tin, and tell me what the most recent date is."<br /><br />1992.<br /><br />"I found the altoids that are in your mouth in my mom's attic and just put them out to see what would happen." More loud laughter.<br /><br />So that's how I ate an antique. Only 20 years old, but still.<br /><br />JRootAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post-88705871136615648222009-07-29T22:16:34.941-04:002009-07-29T22:16:34.941-04:00Mark:
1. The Pea Hix vintage peanut video is just...Mark:<br /><br />1. The Pea Hix vintage peanut video is just great.<br /><br />2. Before this I never heard of "unboxing" videos. I did a search. Now my life is ruined. <br /><br />I was thinking that unboxing videos couldn't have existed in the days before user-created-content on the internet. It's a whole new category of soft fetish.Andy Hopkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14149673993917911144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post-17642566976588329482009-07-28T20:04:31.005-04:002009-07-28T20:04:31.005-04:00They were eating Pound Cake over there??? No wonde...They were eating Pound Cake over there??? No wonder we lost the war...<br /><br />"Lt. Farbelo Furlo, Ret."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post-16415843401312549392009-07-28T01:21:41.064-04:002009-07-28T01:21:41.064-04:00This is so weird. About an hour before I read thi...This is so weird. About an hour before I read this, Jeff and I were discussing the fact that we had no wedding cake and therefore no wedding cake to save and eat years from now. He wondered aloud how many people get really sick from eating old cake.Jessnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5940409578133203487.post-41289102961373107522009-07-26T22:42:39.282-04:002009-07-26T22:42:39.282-04:00Awesome Andy. Using the ceremonial sward is a grea...Awesome Andy. Using the ceremonial sward is a great touch.<br /><br />Here is a related video by this guy Pea Hix who is THE Optigan guy... has a band called Optiganally Yours and is a hoarder of all things weird and electronic..... anyway, funny 'eating antique food' video..<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfOUWaFQSsAMarknoreply@blogger.com