Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Cub Foods - Bin Ladin connection?

I just got my haircut at Supercuts and the hairdresser lady and I got to talking about grocery stores. She claims that Cub Foods closed down soon after 9/11 because "Osama Bin Ladin was a major stockholder." He issued a general threat about wrecking the economy and devaluing U.S. currency, and within the week, Cub Foods employees showed up to work to find the stores shuttered with no notice.

Anyone know anything more?

A quick look at the Cub Foods wiki only reveals a string of dull-sounding mergers and acquisitions reports involving parent companies SuperValu, Albertsons, and Cerberus Capital Management, revealing only, for example, that some Cub stores were "divested ... to avoid market concentration issues."

Folks miss Cub Foods for their noticeably cheaper prices, especially for major purchases common to large families or folks who get paid once a month.

For me personally, Cub was okay for some things, but I of course much prefer the old-style small groceries. Some of the Cub stores were so damn big that you could get exhausted. You'd get a workout when you realized you forgot a produce item but you were already all the way over in the beer aisle, in another zip code. I wonder if they used re-tread tires on their shopping carts?


  1. Supercut hairdressers have always been the Walter Cronkites of any era so I would certainly take whatever she said to the bank. But really, the Bin Laden family is very, VERY rich and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if someone in that family had a hand in the Cub Foods pot. As far as missing Cub Foods, in the Chicago area we have a new discount grocery store called "Strack and Van Til". They have discount prices, sure. But I have a problem with the name of the store. I mean, one just sounds like a wheezing meth'd up fool simply saying the name. I miss grocery stores with friendly-sounding names like cuddly Sub Foods. Sigh... Strack and Van Til? It sounds like somewhere where I'd get a handgun at a moments notice. So there I am at Aldi stocking up on my canned goods for the apocalypse and then I'm off to Strack and Van Til for my glock. See you in the bunker!

  2. Did you mean to say "cuddly Sub Foods"?

    Cuddle with a sub like Homer Simpson.

    I had a few pre-packaged subs from Cub Foods circa 1995 - gross. Imagine a sandwich where all the ingredients refuse to speak to each other.

  3. Is Cub Foodses's parent company really named after the multi-headed dog that guards the gates of hell? I thought the office-plant-leasing operation in here Chicago named Rentokil ("Rent to kill?" For a place that leases plants? Really?) was bad, but Cerberus is some shit.